Sultry Tension : Venus and Mars Square Off

A square in the cosmos

A balance in the sky

A focus on me

and yet somehow you arrived.

My impatience pulses and the fire grows

Yet she asks for me to slow

The more I force 

I stray off course 

Working against the present flow

When I quite down I suddenly know 

Where I am called to go

I need to focus on me

Yet my reality is shaped by you.

Im learning to exist in harmony

Between action and reflection

This is the paradox 

Illuminating my mind.



Spring has arrived and this season begins with an interesting astrological happening. Mars in Taurus and Venus in Aquarius square one another.


How do we translate this into lay terms? Mars- masculine energy, Venus - feminine energy are assumed to create some sort of tension (square). BUT it invites us to embody a deeper understanding of these two forces around us, within us, and from us.  Mars in Taurus wants to possess, wants to claim and take you in, make you part of his home that he has worked hard on. Venus in Aquarius shivers at the thoughts of confinement. Until she understands your motives, trusts that you will not try to own her she will remain out of grasp. There is a natural pull to be together in this time, a craving of partnership yet a desire of different things keeps the two from connection. I would imagine that whatever is standing in the way from a fulfilling partnership will reveal itself to you, aching like a wedged splinter under the skin. 


Have you ever watched the dynamics between two lovers in sync, one assumes the role of the pursuer, and the other the chased, one leads with action and the other submits to follow. Or maybe you have been involved in a display of dominance, neither wishing to step down. Or the opposite, neither willing to step up. 


The other night I felt these happening in such an intense way. I was having conversation with a male and he was curiously asking questions. His curiosity was fueled with action, not pausing between answers, instead questions continued firing. I found myself shutting down, intimidated by this rapid firing, this pursuit of knowledge. With no pause between, I wondered the motive, are you trying to understand me or simply asking for your own curiosity. 

Luckily awareness was found in this tension, conversation unraveled each point of view and a new discovery began to digest through me. 


Be watchful of scenarios like these, of the impatience of Mars and his desires, of the passive nature of Venus and her craving of harmony. 


Watch the world around you and see the beautiful chemistry the two create. When tension arrives understand what it asks of you. 

Spring Equinox : Full Moon Relections

to be so broken 

to have

FALLEN

so deeply

that the only thing

you can do 

is 

RISE

into a new you

Yung Pueblo


The Fool: Card pulled for this full moon

To begin, I gather every ounce of braveness I can muster and step blindly into the unknown exchanging my doubt for faith seems to be the only resolve.


It was interesting to me when I sat down to write about this months astrology insights, I pulled the Fool in tarot which is the first of the major arcana cards. The story is of a innocent young wanderer who is almost stepping off the cliff. There is a naive quality surrounding this spirit but it is from this place that bravery emerges, believing in the possibility of the future without the fears of failure and danger that our journey teaches us.


We all have years of history that only help inform this beginning. Years of direct experience and intimacy with this life, so although we begin, we begin a bit wiser exactly where we are. In the depths of winter we can witness what has solidified and what was not able to withstand the intensity of the cold and darkness that winter brings.


The lesson of Aries connects us back to our own passions and desires. We are confronted with the paradox of connectedness and individuality all existing in the same truth. Claiming this individuality has been so powerful in my life. Allowing myself to follow the topics that interest me, releasing the notions of how I ought to be and instead trusting my own journey. This is where we use Astrology to turn inwards and reflect on the conscious evolutions of each of the signs, of the different aspects of ourselves.  


The sign of Aries emerges with fire guiding him, this story is told of the brave and innocent warrior who felt his existence in a strong way. For those of us on our spiritual journey perhaps we have gone through the battle of the ego, noticing its presence, rejecting it trying to find sublime peace, and then needing to reclaim it. This is the paradox that life presents to us.


This life we live, this body we inhabit is spectacularly unique to us, yet there is no question on our connectedness. Everyday we are shaped by the experiences outside of ourselves, and this realization unites the isolation we can trick ourselves into. This is the mission of the Aries and Libra duo. Of me vs we, of self and partnership.


Claiming yourself is not selfish, it is not vain. Following your interests is part of owning this gift of existence. Reconnecting to your body, to the physical nature of being human is part of this rich curriculum and can help untangle the tales of the intellectual mind.


As Spring begins the question is asked of you, what will you begin? What will you choose to involve yourself in? The Full moon in Libra begins the Sun cycle of Aries providing us with a dose of the Libra medicine, Arie’s elixir. Perhaps encouraging us to look at our relationships, to look at how we interact with life and evaluate if this holds true to your Self.

For me a major lesson I am learning is entering into relationship while still holding boundaries for myself. I have witnessed the quick disregard of hobbies and schedules to mold into the person holding my attention. I have felt the traces of abandonment that was inflicted upon myself by myself, when I disregarded those boundaries. I have felt inhibited by action by considering what others thought of me. This is the paradox to be reflected upon this month. How do we own our individuality and then also provide and support that in our partnerships?

This moon in particular has themes of the masculine and feminine. Mars and Venus square one another which in astrology translates to tension aimed at expansion. It's interesting to me that this is occuring during the Spring Equinox, during the season of the year when night and day hold equal time in the night sky, yet there is an indication that there will be tension between the two. The masculine helps us to bring action to manifest what we desire, and the feminine allows for the reflection to correctly pursue this. If right now in your life relationship and partnership feels heavy, this could be a key to evaluating your attitude around this duo. Around the partner you are with, and the partner you play. If lessons of avoidance or impulsiveness resonate with you, exploring the strengths of each of these energies, the yin and yang, could reveal overuse in one and a chance to explore the benefits of the opposite.

The time of year slowly eases into a more Yang season, everyday a step closer to summer, to the peak of sunny days. The animals leave hibernation and the plants will begin to blossom. The same can be true for ourselves. In Ayurveda this is an ideal time to cleanse the body. To enter into this new season with physical health will only help us in our new pursuits. Adding more greens into our diet, ginger tea between meals, and perhaps a more vegetable based diet will help us shed the winter excess and the body.



Dark Moon Evolution

Pursuing you in your transitions,
In other Motes --
Of other Myths
Your requisition be.
The Prism never held the Hues,
It only heard them play --

Emily Dickinson

Do you ever pause to notice the transition of something. To watch as it becomes something new entirely. I think that’s why we are drawn to the rising and setting of the sun.. The transition of life, of the seasons, and even the mundane transitions from day to day, have the ability to fascinate the mind and begin to understand the complexity of existence. Our ability to adapt astounds me and was something I noted as my life changed entirely while living in Costa Rica. Of course it’s not always graceful or pleasant, personally I claim opposite to be true, but after that discomfort you begin to acclimate and adjust, and suddenly you exist differently with ease.

As we all find ourselves in Pisces season and the upcoming New Moon we feeling the reality of winter, yet we know that Spring is around the corner. This sign is known for being a mutable sign meaning it adapts to its environment, which requires a heightened sensitivity to transform accordingly. I write from my own perspective, shaped and influenced by my surroundings, interpreting this astrology. My attention and reflection are drawn to the transition remembering the choice in becoming.

What are the habits and routines of your day? Mine change periodically, typically influenced by what is sparking the fire within. But as a Pisces, I found that habits and routines keep me rooted, remind me to watch what I am becoming and bring me back into the body, instead of simply floating along. When I do this I can have choice in how I evolve which is guaranteed to happen by nature of existence. The reality we live in is rich with material to work with, and spirituality can be found here, this is the antidote to the wandering nature of Pisces. Taking care of your responsibilities is part of claiming and owning the life you live, not assuming someone else to pick up after you.

It was entertaining for me to watch how two weeks of vacation and an absence of routine quickly changed the dynamics of my day. I had made an intentional choice to relax the routine and instead allow the freedom of an unplanned day take me. But I feel it, and now as I have arrived back home I slowly begin, again. Holding myself accountable and sculpting the routines of my day. Giving myself time to digest, to breathe into it, coming back to a familiar place yet feeling mysteriously different.

How can this new moon help you understand the boundaries you need to give your creativity a container, a home. What ways do you give away your power and ownership of your life? Spring is right around the corner, and the white will soon become green. Watch closely to witness this magic.


Celebration of the Night: Full Moon Rising

Do those scars cover the whole of you, like stars and the moons in the sky?

I ask you right here to agree with me that a scar is never ugly.

That is what the scar makers want us to think.

But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them.

We must see all scars as beauty. This will be our secret.

Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying.
A scar means, I survived.

-Chris Cleave

Last week most of us celebrated Valentine’s day. It has me reflecting on love: the ways I feel supported, the way that love receives me, becomes me, and then expresses through me. One thing stands out and that is the people who have stood by my side and seen me for more than a decision or action, who can grasp the whole of my existence, the innocence of my intentions and find grace for me when I have a hard day or make an unfavorable choice (there have been plenty). This type of loyalty, grace, and love nourish me and provide comfort during the storms of doubt and despair. I find this relevant to mention as Chiron changes signs into Aries on the same day as the full moon February 19.

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In astrology Chiron is the wounded healer. Symbolized by the key, he reminds us that our wounds are the gateway to our genius. He asks to us to exude this type of loyalty, grace, and love towards ourselves and embrace the many aspects of our existence. When we think in this way perhaps we can begin to form a curiosity around our imbalances, around the aspects of ourselves that we disregard or disown. In the physical body, imbalance or disease is the perfect place to begin. In Ayurveda we understand that disease comes from a perpetual imbalance that has penetrated the layers of the body and manifested in a unique way. Now, we can search for the prescription that brings relief to these symptoms which is fine, but that will not address the actions that contributed to creating this disease. Chiron is the key to understanding and embracing this. It requires more attention than the desire of a quick fix. The key to unlock the door to wholeness asks for commitment to the journey, it asks to be claimed and fully understood.I see this reflected in my own life in a baltant manner.

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Before I began this voyage I imagined all that would change. I saw a version of myself carefree and tanned from the sun.Unafflicted from the hours of yoga and meditation. Mind free and blissed out, a tumeric glow surrounding my healthy self. But I walk away with so much more. I see that this journey was not meant to scrub away the unclaimed parts of myself. If anything my afflictions became clearer alone in the jungle, they asked to be claimed. I see that with my intensity provides me the ability to love in a deep way. I see that my anger is also expressed in passion and energy to pursue my dreams. I see that each day carries a weight and there is no amount of tumeric that promises bliss. I take with me lessons that the people and land of Costa Rica have taught me.Patience can be ripened, contentment found in every corner.The stories of travelers have filled me, forever shaping my existence

I walk away sunburnt, a few pounds heavier and humbled by all the things I don’t know.

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While the moon grows brighter in the night sky we begin to evaluate the seeds we planted. What has been illuminated for you in 2019? And in these final days of Aquarius what have you learned about the unconventional, the path less traveled. There is a clarity with this sign that knows what it wants. How can you take these insights, these newfound freedoms and stabilize them so they can have a lasting affect. The astrology tells us that the planets grant us with the constructive intelligence to meet any obstacles or barriers with courage.

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The sun will move into Pisces to complete Winter and spend time in the final zodiac sign. But is there really completion when everything is a cycle? The piscean nature would love to ponder this as their dreamy minds are consumed by seeing the interconnectedness in everything. The full moon in Virgo helps us to see the details in the dreams we wish to pursue. It sits Pisces down with her grand visions and begins to gently create a structured plan on how to make these wonderings more than fantasies. Together the duo is unstoppable.

Día de Los Enamorados : 2nd Quarter Moon

When doubt creeps in 

It stirs inside 

I twist and turn looking for comfort

The voice inside yells there is no hope 

It replays every cutting memory 

Tricking me into blissless defeat

Someone sees me writhing and mistakes it for a dance

How beautiful they say

I look for hints of disgust 

But only awe

So I begin to dance and give

Into the unsettling doubt

I make beautiful chaos

To express my agony 

I wake up wise

Nothing has changed

When I think back to the day of my accident, I meticulously review the events, searching for a clue, a warning sign of some sort. But there is nothing but a wonderful morning that preceded the storm. That is the paradox of life though, the existence of peace and chaos on the same breathe, this week will mirror this paradox .

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The planets above tell a story of understanding and acceptance while the Sun and Jupiter are sextile, there is harmony available to us. Sextile in astrology = cohesive and attractive, think of the Color me Bad song a I wanna Sex (tile) you up. The sweet New Moon last week invited us to review our judgements and limitations of mind, to rise above and find connection in our differences. It’s no surprise to me that Black History Month is in February, the month of progressive minded Aquarius who tolerates no discrimination. In my life this has been extremely relevant as I was introduced to a few incredible individuals who shared with me pieces of their existence, of the history of black hair and what it means to go natural. I was also given Michelle Obamas book Becoming which of course shares insights into her life, and the amazing work her and Barack have done and continue to do to empower the impoverished, to reinstate hope in the waste of despair. I cannot change the color of my skin but I can begin to consider how I become part of the conversation, how I can become part of the change I wish to see. Protect these insights and steep them into your actions.

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We have two planets changing signs this week which tends to spice up our lives and brings an element of instability. Mercury the planet of communication changes signs into mystical Pisces. A prolonged stay in this sign due to a retrograde hints to me that a dose of the mystical is needed. Time here invites us to dive deep, think of the ocean and the great mystery below the surface. Read poetry that takes you to this depths, journal the twisted thoughts and feelings that are part of you, there is a genius here wishing to be unleashed. Watch out for technical difficulties and smile when they appear, for they are gifts to return to now. Small details and analysis are not enhanced right now, play on your strengths.

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Wednesday the day before Valentine's day should be in your radar. The practice of prudence will be your elixir to the impulsive and brash tones in the air.  Mars our warrior planet is about to change signs but the evening before the move, smells of mayhem. I find it funny to know that the planets are moving in such a way the day before the celebration of love. The astrology would describe the intimate meeting of Mars and Uranus as brash, impulsive, and heated. This is how we use astrology, to prepare for what is beyond our control. On wednesday wear your rose quartz, and meet the day with a gentleness, be slow with your reactions to counterbalance the energy above . Love is not about a conflict free relationship, but instead learning how to navigate difficulties in a mindful way, creating space for one another to authentically exist which means hard conversations from time to time.

In Costa Rica Valentine’s day is not solely focused romantic love but instead about friendship, a celebration of all of those you love and share relationship with. The Lovers Card in Tarot is defined by a unity and trust that empowers the other. For me I am beginning understand the difference between infatuation and love. I used to be flattered by the boyfriend who was protective and couldn’t bear time apart. But now I understand that this is not love, that is something else, something consuming. Let us remember the moral of the lovers and empower one another this week. The energy grows as the moon begins her second quarter, she asks us to unify our actions to sow the seeds we have planted at the new moon.


New Moon in Aqaurius

This month the astrology highlights Jupiter, the planet known for abundance, and his expansive nature.

What is it about air the has an element of chaos? During the past few months spent in Costa Rica I have witnessed the power of wind. 60 mph gusts of air mercilessly rip through the jungle. It is unpredictable, unruly, and untouchable. With no tangible form, our mind grasps to control it, but fails in frustration. Perhaps that speaks more to my own thoughts and tendencies. I never feared air as I had water or fire, but my respect for this element has blossomed. To witness any element in its most powerful form we begin to understand the makings of this Earth, and simultaneously realize how little we know and how powerless we are when measured against its elements.

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This new moon in Aquarius invites us to embody the qualities of air. With the Sun and Moon in the constellation of Aquarius, there is a union in the night sky -- a predominance of this energy that welcomes us to explore and move through curiosities like the wind. The final air sign of the Zodiac wheel, Aquarius comes from Capricorn, who possesses a clarity around his work in this world. Capricorn practices diligence and routine, and is ready to expand --  to rise above without form to enhance his community. The archetype of Aquarius is the water bearer, often pictured as someone pouring water and observing. This speaks to the curious nature in Aquarius, tentatively watching and participating. His vision from above provide fresh insights as he is able to see where his limitations have held him back. He is becomes charged with creativity from time spent with others; listening to their ideas and stories. This particular New Moon longs for communication and expression as Mercury joins the Sun and Moon in Aquarius. Emotions can be tricky to explain. It is not easy to put to words these feelings that exist within. There have been many times where I tried to use words to paint the inner turmoil or bliss that filled my body and mind and failed miserably. However, when the planets align in this way I have noticed a clarity around how I construct the words to used communicate the complexities in my mind.

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Stationed in the midst of Winter what reflections occupy your thoughts? What does the stillness and end of this lunar cycle triggered for you? How was the eclipse season for you? What do you wish to plant and nurture Spring? When we are in the middle of a season we have the unique ability to look back and see what has been and to look forward to the nearing of what approaches. This perspective gives us perseverance and appreciation for what is around us.

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Do you participate in community? Do you show up to events beyond the comfort of family and close friends? Do you dare to pick up a book on a topic that you are not familiar with? My life in Costa Rica has challenged me to embrace this way of being. As I have been surrounded by people from different backgrounds, hobbies, etc, as I live in and work for a hotel that caters to a broad array of guests. On this journey I traded in the choice of selecting my company for the chance to meet people at random, our common thread being travel and sometimes only that. This has allowed me to see beyond my normal landscape and will forever shape the way I exist. I feel this experience is rooted in the lessons of Aquarius and the broadened view of community and members who exist in it. This moon enhances an emotional generosity towards others. Practice generosity within, recognize others and the gifts they possess, give words to these recognitions.
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The square between mars and Pluto is still lingering in the air, smelling like power dynamics gone wrong. It is anger without reflection, a place of fear that consumes diplomacy  and calls it a waste of time. Watch out for intense situations and be careful how you stoke the fire. Both of these planets have warrior archetypes, Mars fights for what he believes and is guided by his instincts. Pluto, lord of the underworld willing and fearlessly goes into the dark in order to transform and understand the demons which hold him back. If you are confronted with forceful situations, practice the pause, bring in softness, remember the Ayurvedic guiding principles to balance, like increases like, and opposites relieve.


Third Quarter Moon: Stop and Go

There is a force of push and pull at the start of the week. An energy to move forward met by a resistance inhibiting any plans of progress. How do you deal with things beyond your control? Perhaps chanting the serenity prayer at the beginning of your day, asking for guidance to surrender to things beyond you.

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I have noted that this periods of frustration can be transformed into creativity, given the right space. These tumultuous emotions provide rich soil of emotions and feelings to explore and touch. This stop and go eases up at the end of the week where qualities of Jupiter flavor our days. 

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A trine between Jupiter and Mars points to forward movement. Mars always desires to forge ahead. This planet reveals emotions and feelings which lead to clarity around direction. When Jupiter and Mars dance in this way we have a promise of success at what we are seeking.

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What was illuminated for you at the full moon? What did you learn from the lessons of Leo cluing us into our heart passion? Begin your actions with clear intentions and continue on, luck is on your side.

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We have officially entered the season of air, all of us gifted with the intellect that Aquarius possess. The sun will stay in Aquarius for the next month, providing us with the space to embody the gifts of this air sign. 

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As we are in the age of Aquarius we are asked how we can live as a community is a way that benefits the masses. This month is a good time to connect with community, attend group activities. Listen to the ideas of your neighbors, participate in the discussion. Allow space for your mind to weave around and discover new concepts.

First Quarter Moon : Unify Your Actions

The aroma of this New moon still lingers in the air and now asks us to shift our behavior to align with these intentions we wish to manifest. How can you sculpt your day to coordinate with these intentions? Capricorn reminds us that wishing upon a star is a nice thought, but if you wish to have something you must work to get it. Every action has a reaction.


Uranus stations direct  on the 6th, whenever this planet is in the mix he is sure to spice things up as Uranus represents sudden changes, breakthroughs and empowerment. If you look at pictures of Uranus, he spins on his side, moving in an unconventional way. That is why astrology encourages us to find our own rhythm and nurture this part of ourselves when this planet takes center stage. Uranus is a slow moving planet and takes 84 years to change signs, and this year Uranus takes his final steps in Aries as he prepares to get cozy in the sign of Taurus. Stay tuned on this one. Notice any impulses to defy the norm, to switch things up.


Venus is finally done with her time in Scorpio, an unusual amount of time was needed as retrograde gave Venus an extended stay here.  Venus is Scorpio assisted us to clear away the old skeletons we hoarded in our closet around intimacy and relationship. Now that she has undergone some serious transformation she is ready for a good time! Venus enters Sagittarius on Monday and this invites a much lighter, fun, explorative attitude into our relationships.


When Tuesday rolls around notice any opportunities knocking at your door, as this day is auspicious with some cosmic luck! Say yes to a date, or going out on a new adventure. On these days I always like to note what is presented to me.


The rest of the week encourages us to find a slower place. To remember that even the simplest of tasks invite us to practice mindfulness. Taking care of the life you have is a way to respect and honor yourSelf. How are you unifying your actions to sow the seeds you planted for this new moon? The Sun and Pluto reunite for their once a year ritual, unmasking the the shadows that lurk inside of you. Pluto wishes to transform you, and when paired with the Sun we are assisted in the shadow work, to continue to evolve and share our gifts. What impression will you leave on this world? The choice is yours.

Xxxx Sam


Dark Moon : Solar Eclipse

A day of rest; a time unplugged. What surfaces in stillness? I am curious what thoughts rise up for you, lure you to action, to distraction? What rises in the void?

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The alignment of the planets tell a story of stillness and contemplation. It asks us to review the way we exist on this planet, to take ownership of the ways we build our obstacles and keep ourselves stuck, to tune into your values and recognize the things that vibrate in harmony with our morals. 

This week prepares us for the New Moon and Solar Eclipse on January 5th. The Sun, Moon, Saturn and Pluto reside in the constellation of Capricorn, the final earth sign.

The night of New Years Eve was a funny one for me, I seemed to have caught a bug I call the Agitation flu. I carried a heaviness.  – some part of me afflicted by emotion. I started to practice looking within; giving myself permission to step away from social interaction to spend some time by myself. I took space to identify as best I could the emotions I was feeling, factors that contributed to this mood. As I sat there in my bitterness I reminded myself of the reality in universal suffering, to recall a patience and softness for others when they get the Agitation flu. 



I share this story because what I have learned from Capricorn is that life isn't always a jolly good time. And this final earth sign can shake apart what is not founded in truth. It unearths the bullshit we try to burry deep within. But this is a gift if we can work with it. A gift in solidifying goals, in ensuring integrity in action, and requiring a strong foundation.


Resist and find yourself cursing what is beyond your control. Surrender and tune in and trust in this unearthing.  


The Sun and Neptune coexist in a beautiful way right now, one gifting us singular focus as well as a heightened dream world. A lot of you have written to me telling me that you have been feeling the activation of Neptune in Pisces, giving us all access to the dream world of the fish. Although messages in dream world are riddled and construed in a manner that leaves logic at the road, time in this realm expands our minds and gives us shifted and refreshed views. Find the latest ritual to tap into both the logic and potential.

Obstacles as Opportunities Ritual 

Eclipse Preprations & Reflections

“Far and away the best prize life has to offer is working hard at work worth doing.”  - Teddy Roosevelt

The beginning of the year promises to start off checking our belief system, our relationship with authority and requiring we get serious about the hours we spend in our work. The month of January begins with a Solar Eclipse aka New Moon and finishes with a lunar eclipse aka Full Moon.

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Here presents the opportunity to understand how your actions bring you closer or drift you further from your values. Saturn has a low tolerance for bull shit and WILL call you out for your shit. He understands the value of structure and authority. Uranus asks us to stray from the pack, to find our unique vibration. 

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Book Your Personal Astro Insight Here 


With the sun and moon in Capricorn we gain clarity around the work we do. An amazing aspect in the cosmos which allows us to tap into a clarity in our work. The actions we take each day, the way we earn our money, It is not about the magnitude of the work, but about the motive, effort that drives us. As the final earth sign Capricorn wishes to align the actions of work and materialization in alignment with their morals. This sign is not one of impulse but instead provides us with the focus to reflect on the past year. To witness the stages of our unfolding and understand what we would like to draw in for this next year. Only from awareness do our actions begin to tell a different story.



To get a personal reading and understand where in your own birth chart this Eclipse is happening book a session here. $30 - Personal Eclipse Reading for both Solar & Lunar Eclipse. 




New Moon Sagittarrius


December befriends us yet again as it always does, immersing us in the Season of Sagittarius.


The season Sagittarius captures us and invites us explore the new and enjoy all of life's delights. After spending quite a bit of time in the dark womb of Scorpio we emerge, lighter and more clear. We have space from the purging that scorpio requires. We see the trees bare, naked without their leaves, inviting possibilities of spring. Sagittarius season is a time to enjoy the new, to appreciate the luxuries of life, and have a good laugh. One of my favorite attributes of the Sagis is their excellent sense of humor. 

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I have noticed a satisfaction that enhances when I am learning and immersing myself in something new. For me as my Sag inspired goal, I have opted to practice my Spanish every day for at least 20 minutes. Learning a new language and living in a rural town I am fascinated by this community. Observing the differences as well as the similarities. I want to ask more questions and learn their stories but I currently speak at the level of a three year old, so patience and perseverance persist inside of me. 

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Often times I think of Montana and the northern hemisphere experiencing winter. How we find ourselves with more time without all of the summer BBQs or invitations for outdoor adventures. Now that the darkness settles in, the possibilities await and question of how you will use this time presents itself. One of the ways that this zodiac sign feels satisfaction is from expansion of mind and experiences. The experience of the new reminds us of the bigger picture at play. It allows us to see from a new vantage point, enlarging our perspective. Like the satisfaction of climbing the uphill trail to appreciate the view from above. 

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I would guess that our ancestors and the people before us characterized the Sagittarius as such by this enhancing curiosity of the new. This season beckons us to consider what brings us joy, to travel outside our comfort zones or even outside the country. It asks us to expand, and have fun doing it. As with all things have boundaries so you can enjoy but not get swept away by the flames of gluttony. To understand that any strength also presents the possibility of weakness is one to keep in mind. The need for growth in the Sag can also look like the endless pursuit of more. 

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The new moon brings a synchronized approach as the sun and moon sit together in the constellation of this fire sign. We are invited to slow down and start to lengthen the space in between. In this space we can gain clarity for the seeds we wish to plant. Allow yourself to steep in the darkness. Taking bits and pieces from the lessons of the gypsy and personalizing them to fit your soil. 

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Life is not happening to you, it is happening for you. 


Sam




Full Moon In Gemini



The word.

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I imagine the desire to share an emotion began the creation of language.

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A vocal expression which has the ability to convey, to share. 

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The vibration leaves my lips and enters your ears, can you hear?

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Discretion in choice, intention in voice.

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These help me choose the word.

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I dare not speak mindlessly for I understand the impression I can create.

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As if I were choosing my lover, I carefully select the words I use.

S’moore.


The full moon in Gemini begins the start of Sagittarius season this coming Friday. This lunar cycle can feel unstable, charged, and erratic. You have probably seen a handful of memes warning of Mercury Retrograde, a time remembered for miscommunications, malfunctions, and misunderstandings. But it’s nothing we can’t handle as this planet journeys retrograde 4x a year. This retrograde is magnified in this full moon as Mercury is the ruling planet of Gemini.

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Gemini, the first air sign possess a wonderful well of curiosity, she longs to explore, to understand, to communicate. She teaches us the art of attention and inquisitive nature. She ventures outside her home to meet her neighbors, to understand the various characters who make up this planet. The more she learns the more she understands how different environments mold a person.

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With this in mind I also want to mention Mars, as this planet is having a strong effect on many other planets at this time. Symptoms may include but are not limited to: Sudden outbursts, anger, hot headed, passion, increased physical stamina.

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This full moon may tempt a sharp tongue, or bring your anger to center stage. But douse yourself in sweetness, or dulce as they say in Costa Rica. Use the Gemini curiosity to see, what stirs the emotions inside? What boundaries are being violated? Witness the characters of emotions that come to play on the Gemini full moon. Call to mind the art of patience. Write these thoughts down so you can reflect. And then, after the weekend perhaps take time to then express in a way that allows you to be heard.

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I don’t know about you but sometimes when I get myself all hot and bothered I can spit fire and burn bridges. My message which has validity is tarnished because of my thoughtless approach. Have you heard of the shit sandwich? Well its a communication skills and goes like this,  when communicating difficult subjects, start with something good like your intention :I am bringing this up because you are someone I care for and wish to have a good relationship with, lay on the shit in a graceful way :however I must talk to your about your body odor it reminds of me a dead animal carcass and as your friend, I thinks best if you shower, finish with something good like a compliment: Plus you always have this glow about your after you shower, it's so hip!

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If you would like to book a reading with me to see how this full moon is personally affecting you email me 

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As I sit here and write this I just experienced a dispute that got the blood boiling. As I walked back to my casita aka place of residence I felt the heat and rage birth inside me. It wanted to make its presence known. I was reminded of the mental strength it takes to hold an angry tongue, and how I am writing to you all encouraging this. I definitely had to wrangle mine back in before it did too much damage. And I must admit, I didn’t hold my tongue completely.

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Conflict and disputes are part of life though I suppose. How we respond is the juicy part. Or alternatively, perhaps you experience a more passive side to anger without ever allowing your voice to protest actions that are against your will. Instead, a boiling river of internal dialogue courses through you.

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Asking for a pause or time to reflect this week is more than ok. Beware of the dangerous option to avoid revisiting the conversation. Use the body to help you, take the Gemini curiosity and feel where the anger is sourced. Where it is stored. Name it. See what happens, name it again, let it know you see it. 

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Basically, I am telling you, where a practical outfit with lots of pockets (gemini need pockets for storing all the things) and something you don’t mind getting dirty in. Carry your favorite token to remind you of the dulce of life. And remember life is here for living.


In love, 


Sam 



New Moon in Libra

Those who enter the gates of heaven are not beings who have no passion or who have curbed their passions, but those who have cultivated an understanding of them. - William Blake

As I prepare to leave Missoula, I want to continue to offer insights around how we can set intentions for each lunar cycle, how we can reflect on the fluctuations of life. So I will use technology as a bridge to stay in touch with you all.

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October 8th at 9:47 PM MT the moon will be darkest as it resides in Libra with the Sun also stationed here, making this the New Moon ( Sun and Moon share a sign and the moon is dark) A time to plant intentions. The dark night provides a vast ocean possibilities that longs to become actualized, to be more than just an idea or thought.

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Libra is ruled by Venus, a sign embodied by the feminine or yin energy. She focuses on relationships and partnership, expanding her consciousness to embody another, realizing the fulfillment that is experienced when partnership occurs.

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This new moon is leavened with strong flavors of Scorpio adding a sharp flavor to the typically light Libra taste. Venus went retrograde in Scorpio on October 5th and will stay that way for 40 days and 40 nights. This planet (Venus) is the main character for the next while so understanding her lessons can be of great benefit specifically combined with the lessons from Scorpio.

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Since Venus is in Scorpio we understand that this period will be experienced with strong themes of this powerful sign. Scorpio demands us to look into the darkness, to see the monsters, the insecurities, the traumas, that we often work to suppress and keep out of sight. She evolves once she has penetrated the many aspects of ourselves, understanding, and seeing. Only then can she purge and re-emerge liberated, that is why Scorpio is associated with the Phoenix, the bird that becomes from the ashes. She isn’t known to be graceful and light, but she can help you brave the storm, she gives your piercing sight to witness what is at hand.

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We can merge the themes of Libra and Scorpio to understand how to set intentions for this month as well create a framework to process and stay aware for this next retrograde period.

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What role do you usually claim in partnership? Are you the fixer, making sure everything is ok? Or are you receiver, listening and allowing the other to drive as you accompany for the ride? Look into your beliefs and biases around women. We all have them, perhaps you have been hurt and wounded by fierceness of a female. What is your common reaction when conflict arises in partnership? How can you invite more balance into your days? How do you show support to those you love?

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Libra gifts us the intellectual skill of understanding there are two sides to every story, and can help us disengage from normal thinking that can be clouded by our biases. Every soul on this planet has a story that has sculpted them, that has designed the way they see and process life. Understand your own beautiful sculpture, your thought patterns, projections.

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Allow yourself to reflect on these lessons and then tonight or tomorrow morning make time to establish the seeds you wish to grow this next lunar cycle.

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If you are interested in understanding your personal chart and how this period will affect your please contact me as I have officially launched my astro-coaching lessons.

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May we have the courage to face the aspects of ourselves we have neglected and feared. May we have compassion for ourselves and others. The world needs us now more than ever and change will only happen when we work together. In love. Sam

What your wounds are aching to tell you: Chiron

True maturation on the Spiritual path requires that we discover the depths of our wounds. - Jack Kornfield

This post will explore the concept of Chiron in our charts and how we can use it to learn about our wounds in order to heal. Let us begin by acknowledging the astrological term Chiron, a comet that flies between the planets Saturn and Uranus. Chiron is symbolic of the greek centaur who was a healer in his community but ironically was not able to heal himself. When we see Chiron in the chart it gives us a clue into some of the wounds we will be working with.

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If you want to pull up your birth chart and find out what your chiron is click here.

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The route of Chiron is significant orbiting between Saturn (symbolically associated with Capricorn) as well as Uranus (symbolically associated with Aquarius). Saturn requires boundaries, structure, rightful authority, time alone while Uranus is the rebellious planet, liberated, dismissing authority, a creator of chaos BECAUSE it knows that truth is indestructible, and symbolic of the collective community. An interesting route to take absorbing lessons from both.

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But I will tell you something that is true for me, liberation comes from a deep understanding of self. With boundaries, and structure we are able to explore the different aspects of ourselves. We are able to promote a healthy environment for ourselves to do this work. I.e. When I wake up I do not go on social media until after 9 AM ensuring I have time to meditate and won’t be distracted by the pulls of social media.

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I wrote a post last week around my accident (see instagram) and feel so much of it describes my exploration of my pain or wounds. After a neck injury there has been a new study of injury in the body, in the spine specifically. How the slow exploration of poses and accepting my restrictions (not turning my head all the way) changes the theme of my practice.

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I have begun to explore a a more somatic approach to meditation which has provided me insight into PTSD. I watch how my body reacts when in a car, how stress has a designated pathway across my shoulders where it settles just below my injury. I see how a practice like Abhyangha soothes my nervous system, reminds me of my worthiness, and gives me a chance to intimately touch my body.

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This curiosity and compassion to my wounds has been  monumental. I feel strongly compelled to encourage others to also take time to get to know this aspect of themselves. Everyone of us has experienced pain, has a unique story with gifts, and vulnerability  that make us perfectly imperfect. Our wounds can heal us, and the care and compassion of this lesson is key on this venture.


Summer In Review

Every time we move into a new season I find myself excited and dreaming up all of my plans that I can partake in. This Summer is not an exception, the nicer weather and heat draw me to the water and activities where I can enjoy the sun and excess time outside. These days I also bring that attention, inwards. My current studies in Yogastrology set me up for these types of learning opportunities. Regardless if you believe in astrology or use it as a tool, I have never felt a loss after exploring the lessons Dianne has choreographed in our monthly lessons. Weather the month is themed around boundaries and healthy habits, or how we partake in community or family, I ALWAYS leave feeling fulfilled and curious. We all have special interests and talents, and introspection and exploration into the more subtle is a “thing” of mine.

I wanted to share with you some tips I am practicing this summer.

 

  • Slow wins the race.

After the death of two major figures in our society Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade I wondered what I could do personally to be part of the solution to this problem in our society. I decided what was in my control was to give myself time to digest my life. In every aspect, physically, mentally, emotionally. I saw how when I am moving fast I will hop onto the next thing, excitement about a new adventure I would soon find myself burnt out and in similar themed lessons. Like I hadn’t learned my lesson and was just playing out the same scenario in a different context. So right now to bring in the opposite quality I vow to move slower. In honor of myself and others, I will make sure to give myself time to process.

  • Foundation is fundamental

In yoga we learn how essential it is to have a strong core, how much more our practice can expand when we have this foundation. Similarly, houses are built from the ground up with a strong foundation. We see this constantly in the world around us, so it is probably something we as human beings can also integrate into our belief system. Foundation. Our physical bodies are part of that foundation. Hydrating our bodies even more so in the heat, feeding our bodies the fuel that benefits us. The past month I was having too much fun and jeopardizing my sleep. It quickly affected my digestion and the cycle begins. Let’s acknowledge the facts of Summer. It’s hot, there is more alcohol around, the sun is out for longer. Alcohol is dehydrating, these are facts, so be smart and make sure if you drink Alcohol you counter that with double hydration. Seriously, we are instantly happier after hydrating these fine bodies. Food, we are lucky because it is salad and smoothie season. We aren’t locked to the kitchen this season and can eat a fresher diet. Check out Ayurvedic suggestions for the summer season to stalk up on cooling foods for Summer.

  • Setting aside time for reflection.

This summer season is full of retrogrades in the astrology world and retrogrades are all about reviewing, going over the past. These retrograde periods invite us to move on from our habits or ways of attracting the same lesson over and over again. We can slow down, take inventory and have choice in the direction we take our lives. Jack Kornfield, one of my favorite authors writes about these times of reflection, stopping to ask yourself is there heart in this path? Are you spending your time and energy doing the things that are in alignment with your heart? He writes that in the end the only three things that matter are: How well you lived, how well you loved, how well you have learned to let go. So perhaps keep this checklist around when you take time for reflection.

 

15 Signs Your Digestive Fire Is Weak

Today we have an endless stream of options when it comes to choosing the foods we eat. But with all of these options we have forgotten the wisdom of the body. We rely on coffee to stimulate digestion, we eat foods out of convenience versus satiation. So many of us live with symptoms of weak digestive fire, AKA Agni that our symptoms have become normalized.

 

For example these days we can walk into a grocery store and find strawberries in the dead of winter. Our ancestors did not have the luxury of choice and variety that we possess. We eliminated problems around food shortages, but in turn we introduced a whole new set of problems which have left us with weak digestion. Let’s return to the strawberry example. Now these strawberries most definitely were not grown locally if you live in United States, nor are they in season. Eating them actually throw off the natural rhythm your body is in. But most diets will encourage you to eat Strawberries simply because it is a fruit.

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Strawberries in the winter may be beautiful but it is not a natural product of winter

You could be eating only fruits and veggies but if your digestive fire is not strong enough, you will not be absorbing the nutritional value of these foods. Ayurveda takes the phrase “You are what you eat” a step further and says, “You are what you digest”. So take a moment and run through this list of symptoms, if you have one or more than it is a fair assumption that you are dealing with weak digestion.

 

Ayurvedic Spring Cleanse in Missoula Montana


 

15 signs that your Agni is weak

  1. Weight Gain

  2. Bloating after meals

  3. Burping or Gas (nope it’s normal)

  4. Loose stools or constipation

  5. Acne

  6. Stinky breath

  7. Coated tongue

  8. Allergies

  9. Candida

  10. PMS

  11. Unexplained brain fog

  12. Parasites

  13. Dry cracking skin

  14. Nausea

  15. Acidity or Heartburn

 

The first step to change is realizing there is a issue at hand. Ayurvedic offers a simple approach to diet that promotes strong Agni / digestive fire. This science regards every individual as unique and works to sync up with mother nature. If you are interested in learning more about Ayurveda or would like to learn about your body type take Joyful Belly’s Dosha Quiz. If you are in Missoula I will be offering a Spring Cleanse two part class with Missoula Herbalist Justene Sweet.

How to Cycle with the Moon

The potential to create new life is an expression of generosity. When we look at a woman’s body we get a first hand glance at this miracle. Even without kids the female spirit is fertile. Our physical bodies are largely influenced by this characteristic specifically when each month our bodies shed an egg or seed of life. Because of this, I think it is time that we acknowledged this mystical aspect of ourselves. I have experienced phases of my life where hormonal imbalance rocked my world, and not in the “cool” way. I have been on birth control and experienced the dramatic side effects and I have also experienced the cohesiveness of a balanced cycle.

Many cultures associated females with the moons, for example we have the  ancient seers who believed that a woman’s fertility, power and nurturing spirit were all linked to the lunar cycle, the Germans called menstrual blood “die Mond”, the moon. And the French called it “le moment de la lune”, the movement of the moon.  So, how can we use this ancient wisdom and sync with moon?

In the current era of life so many of us have lost touch with the rhythms of nature. Infused with technology, birth control, and other hormone disruptors many of us have symptoms that leave us feeling isolated, out of touch, and depressed. Times are changing and we are realizing the need to connect with nature, to resurface the traditions of our ancestors. Life works in a cyclic way and I would imagine that the peak of technology will be followed by the desire for venerable wisdom, retracing our roots and paying homage to the ancient ways.

Ayurveda teaches that women should aim to cycle on the new moon, or the dark nights of the month (no moon). By simply restoring the natural cycle of our periods to the moon we can find possible relief from unbalanced hormonal levels and other menstrual diseases such as endometreosis, PCOS, painful cramps, etc. There are plenty of ways to restore this connection to the moon and I have listed a few suggestions below.

Now, I know that we live in a  seemingly different world than our ancestors and it is not always realistic to take the week off during your moon cycle. However,  I have come to love my slower paced schedule that I gift myself during my moon. And there are many ways we can optimize on the cycles of our hormones. An app that I love, is called Myflo not only does it track your cycle but also gives food + exercise recommendations and provides an overview of what is going on with your hormones. It’s empowering to know what is going on with your body, allowing you the tools to cultivate balance from within.  It’s so unfortunate the shame that surrounds this topic. I know for years I hated the days I would bleed; I remember the shame I felt when I got my first period. Trying so hard to conceal what my body was experiencing. Nevertheless, healing is happening and it starts within each of us.

So How can you sync with the moon? Here are some suggestions to strengthen the Shakti prana and get in tune with la Lune:

 

Tips On How to sync with Moon:

  1. Pull out your phone and mark the dates for the new moons and full moons, set reminders a few days before to prepare.

  2. The week of the New Moon clear your schedule as much as possible. Allow your body and mind to rest and restore. This is the week we aim to bleed. Introspective activities are ideal (writing, journaling etc).

  3. The week of the Full Moon allow yourself to connect to your Queen. I love to pamper myself; pedicures, delicious meals, connecting with others.

  4. On the Full Moon take time to bask in her beauty. You can do this with your daughters, sisters, friends or perhaps you meditate under the moon.

  5. Explore the legacy of our mothers. Take a moment to realize the sacrifices your mother made, not only her physical body, but her life of raising you. Honoring and healing this relationship strengthens our Shakti prana and lunar attunement. If your relationship with your mother is toxic, perhaps pull to mind a mother figure or the symbolism behind the female nature. The animal kingdom and all living things are connected by female reproductivity.

 

I will end from a quote of a divine book called The Path of Practice. by Bri Maya Tiwari writes, “As their menstrual blood began to flow, they set themselves apart from the men and children to observe the sadhana of rest and replenishment. The new moon was a time when women temporarily shed the burden of their responsibilities to focus on self-renewal and self nurturing in a spirit of sisterhood and community.”

 

Let us nurture the sisterhood and community we live in.

 

*If you are in Missoula, I offer Moon classes that will offer a sacred time for lunar practices. You can find my schedule here. If you are looking for additional guidance please do reach out.

Exploration of Dharma

Have you ever had this feeling, for me it sits in my belly, and it emits this sensation like something is not right. I have relentlessly tired to distract myself, relieve it with all the best lotions, essential oils, vacations, etc. But nothing works. And then you are confronted with the fact that you have been ignoring the call of your soul. She calls softly, asking you to participate. She isn’t interested in a hidden agenda or pleasures, she only wants participation. Participation in what you ask? Well that depends on your story and the essence of you. For me, it seems like working with younger girls is part of my dharma and actually just connecting with people in general. When I participate in these activities I wake up, and realize that previous feeling is gone. Instead a feeling of contentment fuels my body, give me purpose. I see this goal I am working towards, or maybe more so I understand my commitment to life. To what I am offering. It is worth the work, worth the uncomfortable times, because the results are irreplaceable. This work gives purpose to my days. Allows me to keep going when life’s hardships weigh at my heart.

Like a farmer who carries on with his duties even in the freezing rain. He understands his commitment to the animals and land. He knows that there is suffering involved. But it’s worth it. One of my favorite bloggers Mark Manson speaks of Dharma, though he never uses the word in his article The Most Important Question Of Your Life. He writes, “A more interesting question, a question that perhaps you’ve never considered before, is what pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for? Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out. That answer will actually get you somewhere. It’s the question that can change your life. It’s what makes me me and you you. It’s what defines us and separates us and ultimately brings us together..” This question encouraged him to find work where the struggle was calculated into the equation and deemed a worthy. That is the modern man speaking of Dharma. As someone in my mid twenties, the search for my purpose has ruled my past couple of years. A mixture of exploration, disappointment, opening, and closing. And so I continue on this journey. Calling on the universal truth, cultivating the seeds that bring light into my days. 

 

How to Nourish Commitment

When I was walking in the woods, I witnessed pinecones sprouting all across the trails. I accidentally kicked one and wondered if I had changed the fate of that prospective tree. I would walk so delicately on the trails trying not disturb the possibility of a tree beginning to grow. This image filled my mind as I contemplated the trees and life path of the pine cones. I saw that the pine cones were just potential waiting to be, but in order to grow they had to commit to a spot and then wait. Some would never be anything more than a pine cone, but others would continue to uphold the legacy of becoming magnificent trees.

I started thinking about myself as a little pine cone,  surely sprouting, but not quite secure in my landing ground. Always inspired by new ideas, travel plans, etc, I realized at this rate, I would be a while until my roots had a chance to grow.

As we find ourselves in the start of a new year it seemed like a relevant time to bring up the topic of commitment. Not to mention, we find ourselves in the season of Capricorn which embodies this type of devotion to something; think of the mountain goat who perseveres the steepest mountains and continues to climb. For me personally, committed is not an adjective I would use to describe myself. Creative, daring, adventurous, sure but there seemed to be a serious lack of commitment towards all areas of my life. It seemed much more “hip” to be go with the flow, be ready to leave at the drop of a hat, and not become too attached to anything in particular.

While I was working on a writing project recently I had to write about my biggest dream for life with no restriction. I must have drafted at least three full essays and trashed each one. I struggled to be authentic in my dreams, to voice the passions that inspire me, but more than anything I was scared to write down what I actually wanted because it meant there was a serious chance of failure. It felt like writing it down meant I had to commit to this. For me that was scary, wouldn’t you agree?

Now here is my beef with New Year’s Resolutions; so much of the time they are created because we don’t feel whole, or they illuminate the things we hate about ourselves or things we believe we lack in our life. Which then can perpetuate the cycle of self loathing, speaking from personal experience. And on the same note, yes, there are usually things we can do to make our lives a bit lighter, like eating healthy, exercising, etc. I think the key difference is the intention.

I want to lose weight because I want my body to be smoking hot and booty bigger than Nikki Manaj. OR I want to change my diet so that I feel balanced in my body, sleep better, and feel better in my skin. Pretty different intentions there eh?

So, back to the blank slate of 2018. What do you want to commit yourself to? Maybe you are already on the track to your Dharma, if not taking some time to figure out what that is would be extremely valuable. I have found it is much easy to recover from hardships when I remember my dharma or purpose. I have a reason to continue. Just like understanding your dog's breed can help you understand their nature. A golden retriever loves to retrieve and fetch, knowing this you can help facilitate this activity for your dog, helping your furry friend to feel fulfilled.. We are the same in that respect, except unfortunately there is no human breed guide we can read to learn what fulfills us.

So start here:

  1. What inspires you? Makes you feel lighter and increases your happiness?

  2. Identify your Dharma

  3. Make a list of activities that help cultivate those qualities in your life.

  4. Make a list of activities that keep you from this goal

 

Once you have spent some time contemplating this, the next step is to commit. To make a precious vow to yourself. I read some advice from a friend / teacher of mine, urging us to commit to one thing. Be precise about it, and then for the next thirty days commit entirely. After 30 days you can evaluate if this is something you want to continue. But for 30 days, no excuses, just show up. To read more on this New Years challenge you can find his instructions here.

I have started to host monthly lunar classes which is interesting because the moon works in a similar 30 day cycle. To plant an intention, check back with it, and then move forward. It is the natural rhythm of nature. A beautiful harmony to be in tune with. So with that I will leave you to create and commit.

 

Much love,

 

Sam

Transformation

When I look back on my life there is never this clear “aha” moment where I discovered the elixir or the truth. More of a progression of this “clear sightedness”. When I take into consideration the qualities of Pluto it seems only suitable to share a story that embodies those qualities… forceful, intense, transformative. This transformation is so uncomfortable for several reasons, but it yields such a beautiful result. Just as bread becomes edible after a sit in the oven. We too can break our layers down with the heat of change. 

My center stage would be only a year ago during Scorpio season in 2016. I had just been let go from my job. Suddenly I became crowded with vulnerabilities, shame, self-doubt. These parts of myself that had been rejected suddenly came into light. Worries stacked around me, taking up a lot of space. A defeat. You see I had been so unhappy in the job, but I stuck around because of the pay. I was making 3x what I would make normally in Missoula. So I ignored the voice within me that urged me to leave. That is until the other party also decided it wasn’t working out. 

After I had been let go I had to work multiple jobs, I would nanny in the morning, and then go food run / serve at the Top Hat. I was enrolled in my yoga training so my bills were more high than average. I just thought to myself, be open and a servant to the world. Things will fall into place. And 96% of the time I was uncomfortable. I was so tired. It challenged my ego in so many ways. And I wondered how long I would endure the grind until I found full time work. But it was in that door closing that I expanded into my soul. I was tested in my faith and ushered to follow my spiritual path. 

My employment ended up sorting itself out magically but the transformation I want to note blossomed from within. It took courage and resilience for me to get up and do what was needed. I wanted to hide, but I didn’t.  

I have come to have love for myself and the strength I know I possess. So many times I under estimate this. I think "this will break me". And yea, maybe it did break parts of me but never to a point of unrepairable. My scars are what mold my story. They allow me to see a larger picture at play.