Tears stream down my face
A stranger would mistake it as despair
But these tears are more than sadness
They are pure
If you tested their makings
You would see beautiful patterns
Of friendship, heartache, defeat, and resilience.
They are formed from the fluid of my being.
Water from eyes
Becoming clouds in the sky
I am sure if you tasted you would
Understand the mysteries of my tears.
I smile for you so you know I’m ok.
But I fear I won’t see you again.
That your smile will fade into the depths of my mind
But I am almost positive,
If we looked you would be in found in my tears.
So when I miss you
I will look to the clouds
Last week most of us celebrated Valentine’s day. It has me reflecting on love: the ways I feel supported, the way that love receives me, becomes me, and then expresses through me. One thing stands out and that is the people who have stood by my side and seen me for more than a decision or action, who can grasp the whole of my existence, the innocence of my intentions and find grace for me when I have a hard day or make an unfavorable choice (there have been plenty). This type of loyalty, grace, and love nourish me and provide comfort during the storms of doubt and despair. I find this relevant to mention as Chiron changes signs into Aries on the same day as the full moon February 19.
In astrology Chiron is the wounded healer. Symbolized by the key, he reminds us that our wounds are the gateway to our genius. He asks to us to exude this type of loyalty, grace, and love towards ourselves and embrace the many aspects of our existence. When we think in this way perhaps we can begin to form a curiosity around our imbalances, around the aspects of ourselves that we disregard or disown. In the physical body, imbalance or disease is the perfect place to begin. In Ayurveda we understand that disease comes from a perpetual imbalance that has penetrated the layers of the body and manifested in a unique way. Now, we can search for the prescription that brings relief to these symptoms which is fine, but that will not address the actions that contributed to creating this disease. Chiron is the key to understanding and embracing this. It requires more attention than the desire of a quick fix. The key to unlock the door to wholeness asks for commitment to the journey, it asks to be claimed and fully understood.I see this reflected in my own life in a balantant manner.
Before I began this voyage I imagined all that would change. I saw a version of myself carefree and tanned from the sun.Unafflicted from the hours of yoga and meditation. Mind free and blissed out, a tumeric glow surrounding my healthy self. But I walk away with so much more. I see that this journey was not meant to scrub away the unclaimed parts of myself. If anything my afflictions became clearer alone in the jungle, they asked to be claimed. I see that with my intensity provides me the ability to love in a deep way. I see that my anger is also expressed in passion and energy to pursue my dreams. I see that each day carries a weight and there is no amount of tumeric that promises bliss. I take with me lessons that the people and land of Costa Rica have taught me.Patience can be ripened, contentment found in every corner.The stories of travelers have filled me, forever shaping my existence
I walk away sunburnt, a few pounds heavier and humbled by all the things I don’t know.
While the moon grows brighter in the night sky we begin to evaluate the seeds we planted. What has been illuminated for you in 2019? And in these final days of Aquarius what have you learned about the unconventional, the path less taken. There is a clarity with this sign that knows what it wants. How can you take these insights, these newfound freedoms and stabilize them so they can have a lasting affect. The astrology tells us that the planets grant us with the constructive intelligence to meet any obstacles or barriers with courage.
The sun will move into Pisces to complete Winter and spend time in the final zodiac sign. But is there really completion when everything is a cycle? The piscean nature would love to ponder this as their dreamy minds are consumed by seeing the interconnectedness in everything. The full moon in Virgo helps us to see the details in the dreams we wish to pursue. It sits Pisces down with her grand visions and begins to gently create a structured plan on how to make these wonderings more than fantasies. Together the duo is unstoppable.