When doubt creeps in
It stirs inside
I twist and turn looking for comfort
The voice inside yells there is no hope
It replays every cutting memory
Tricking me into blissless defeat
Someone sees me writhing and mistakes it for a dance
How beautiful they say
I look for hints of disgust
But only awe
So I begin to dance and give
Into the unsettling doubt
I make beautiful chaos
To express my agony
I wake up wise
Nothing has changed
When I think back to the day of my accident, I meticulously review the events, searching for a clue, a warning sign of some sort. But there is nothing but a wonderful morning that preceded the storm. That is the paradox of life though, the existence of peace and chaos on the same breathe, this week will mirror this paradox .
The planets above tell a story of understanding and acceptance while the Sun and Jupiter are sextile, there is harmony available to us. Sextile in astrology = cohesive and attractive, think of the Color me Bad song a I wanna Sex (tile) you up. The sweet New Moon last week invited us to review our judgements and limitations of mind, to rise above and find connection in our differences. It’s no surprise to me that Black History Month is in February, the month of progressive minded Aquarius who tolerates no discrimination. In my life this has been extremely relevant as I was introduced to a few incredible individuals who shared with me pieces of their existence, of the history of black hair and what it means to go natural. I was also given Michelle Obamas book Becoming which of course shares insights into her life, and the amazing work her and Barack have done and continue to do to empower the impoverished, to reinstate hope in the waste of despair. I cannot change the color of my skin but I can begin to consider how I become part of the conversation, how I can become part of the change I wish to see. Protect these insights and steep them into your actions.
We have two planets changing signs this week which tends to spice up our lives and brings an element of instability. Mercury the planet of communication changes signs into mystical Pisces. A prolonged stay in this sign due to a retrograde hints to me that a dose of the mystical is needed. Time here invites us to dive deep, think of the ocean and the great mystery below the surface. Read poetry that takes you to this depths, journal the twisted thoughts and feelings that are part of you, there is a genius here wishing to be unleashed. Watch out for technical difficulties and smile when they appear, for they are gifts to return to now. Small details and analysis are not enhanced right now, play on your strengths.
Wednesday the day before Valentine's day should be in your radar. The practice of prudence will be your elixir to the impulsive and brash tones in the air. Mars our warrior planet is about to change signs but the evening before the move, smells of mayhem. I find it funny to know that the planets are moving in such a way the day before the celebration of love. The astrology would describe the intimate meeting of Mars and Uranus as brash, impulsive, and heated. This is how we use astrology, to prepare for what is beyond our control. On wednesday wear your rose quartz, and meet the day with a gentleness, be slow with your reactions to counterbalance the energy above . Love is not about a conflict free relationship, but instead learning how to navigate difficulties in a mindful way, creating space for one another to authentically exist which means hard conversations from time to time.
In Costa Rica Valentine’s day is not solely focused romantic love but instead about friendship, a celebration of all of those you love and share relationship with. The Lovers Card in Tarot is defined by a unity and trust that empowers the other. For me I am beginning understand the difference between infatuation and love. I used to be flattered by the boyfriend who was protective and couldn’t bear time apart. But now I understand that this is not love, that is something else, something consuming. Let us remember the moral of the lovers and empower one another this week. The energy grows as the moon begins her second quarter, she asks us to unify our actions to sow the seeds we have planted at the new moon.